Joke one:
A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out.
He turns to the waiter and says, “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!” 
The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the gentleman and says, “But, sir, it’s fresh ground!”

Joke two:

A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries. 
“Sounds great,” said the health-conscious boy. He ordered some. 
He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container. 
“Wait a minute,” the boy said. “Those don’t look fat-free.” 
“Sure they are,” the cook said. “We charge only for the potatoes. The fat is free!”