Visiting for the holidays

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A Jewish parent calls his son in New York. The father says to David, "I hate to tell you, but your mother and I can't stand each other anymore, and…

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The Doctor’s New Patient

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A doctor opened his new office and began receiving patients. His first patient of the day came in and sat down on the examination table, adjusting himself on the white…

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Dinner time

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One particularly sunny afternoon Rachel met her friend Leah for a cup of coffee. "So, Leah, how is everything with the family?" asked Rachel. "Not great. My Imma said I'm…

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Rain and the Census

Two classic short jokes for today! On a particularly sunny day, two men went out for a walk. Suddenly it began to rain.“Quick,” said one. “Open your umbrella.”“It won’t help,”…

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The Last Nickel

A young man was having a conversation with his wealthy older friend, Morris. And he asked him how he accumulated his wealth. Morris took off his glasses and said, "Well,…

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Zadie’s First Game

Steve decided to take his Zadie to his first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked his Zadie how he liked…

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The Raisin Bread

A Jewish mother asks her son to deliver a message to the baker. The boy, being a good son, walks to the very busy and very overworked baker's shop. As…

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The Number Joke

A guy walks into a resort in the Catskills for the first time. Some of the old time comics are sitting around telling jokes. One of them says, “seventeen” and…

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The Talking Machine

On his way to work one morning, Nathan arrives at Penn station a bit early. While he's waiting for his train, he notices a fancy new machine on the platform…

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Mitzy’s New Apartment

Mitzy moves into a new apartment, and calls her best friend Elsie. “Come see my new place!” “I’d love to! Where do you live?” “780 East 86th Street. You’ll get…

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