VOLUME 108 NUMBER 9
Teves 10, 5784
December 22, 2023
PARSHAS VAYIGASH
Candlelighting Time 4:21 PM
The two most powerful brothers now collide in this exchange between Yosef and Yehuda. Yehuda senses that the ruler of Egypt is not interested in honoring his commitment to release his brother to head back to their father and he is apparently incensed. Even so, he approaches Yosef in a most fascinating manner and requests to speak into ‘the ears’ of his master, referring to Yosef. He could simply have whispered to Yosef and kept his comments private and not voiced them to the entire court of advisers present at this audience. However, this choice of words is unusual and requires an explanation.
Netziv offers an interesting understanding of what is transpiring. The dialogue between them is somewhat atypical. The brothers had initially stated that the one who ostensibly had stolen the goblet would be executed. However, Yosef declined that because only the king of Egypt has the authority to kill the perpetrator. Therefore, he commuted Binyomin’s sentence from death to slavery. Yehuda requested that he should be substituted for Binyomin as a slave to the royal family. Yosef refused to honor this request as well because it ran counter to the protocols of Egyptian law. Therefore, Yehuda advanced toward Yosef to plead with him to release Binyomin and his approach was to speak quietly to Yosef so that even though his request flouted the court protocols Yehuda attempted this strategy anyhow.
Netziv derives from this spirited discussion a very profound understanding of how to rebuke another. Of course, we know that the halacha states that even when we criticize someone for their misconduct it must be done pleasantly and carefully not to offend the person to which we are speaking. However, exactly how to approach this issue requires an insightful understanding of human nature. First and foremost, we must attempt to minimize the damage to the person’s well-being. If the conversation acutely insults the person we are attempting to assist, then the entire conversation is deficient and should not be proceeding. Therefore, the best route is to seek words that somewhat downplay the incorrect behavior of the individual. Even if, truthfully speaking, the offender has done something which is perhaps really terrible, a soft and gentle touch is necessary for the words of reproach to be accepted. Once the person has realized his folly in how he has conducted himself, then it is much easier to follow through and eventually discuss the core of the matter. A slow and protracted heart-to-heart talk will produce not only much better results but it will only produce the desired result. Otherwise, the other party will not receive well the barbs that are being shot at him even with care and prudence.
It seems that the Netziv understands that the voicing of the complaint into the ‘ears’ of Yosef implies a very personal touch that can truly reach and touch the heart of the recipient of that complaint lodged as a personal yet direct comment. And that perhaps created the anticipated effect. Although the brothers were pursuing an approach that would engender mercy from the ruler of Egypt, it did have a compelling impact that reached the heart of Yosef. He was roused to tears and that brought the entire situation full circle and he revealed himself as their brother, inviting them to join him in a tremendous healing effort to repair the damaged relationship that had torn the family apart.
A BYTE FOR SHABBOS
Friday is the fast of the 10th day of Teves commemorating when the siege of Jerusalem began. Although Tisha B’av, when the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed is far off, we need to begin reconstructing the breaches that led to its destruction. Our relationships with others must be repaired if necessary since pointless and excessive hatred was the main cause of our loss.
GOOD SHABBOS
THE WAR CONTINUES AND TOO MANY PRECIOUS SOULS ARE SACRIFICED DAILY IN THIS COMBAT AGAINST EVIL. OUR PRAYERS TO HASHEM ARE VITAL TO ULTIMATELY DEFEAT THIS ENEMY. WE MUST STRENGTHEN OUR STUDY OF TORAH AND FORTIFY OUR CONDUCT BETWEEN OURSELVES AND OUR FELLOW MAN THAT WE RESPECT EACH OTHER AND HONOR EVERYONE. MAY IT BE THE WILL OF HASHEM THAT THIS TRAGIC SITUATION COMES TO CLOSURE SOON.
