The schlemiel and some rye bread

  • Post author:
  • Post category:Jewish Humor

For this joke, first a quick definition:
What’s the difference between a schlemiel and a schlamazel?

A schlemiel is the waiter who spills the soup as he gets to the table.

A schlamazel is the hapless person who gets the soup spilled on him!

And now – the joke:

A famous local schlemiel walks into a restaurant. He sits at a table and, as is customary, the waiter brings a few pieces of rye bread and butter on a plate.

The schlemiel butters his bread getting ready to take a bite. Of course, he drops it on the floor – but it lands butter side up!

It’s a miracle, the schlemiel thinks. “Of course, I dropped the bread, but it landed butter side up!” the schlemiel thinks. “Surely, that is a sign from G-d that I am no longer such a schlemiel.”

He runs out of the restaurant, down the block and to the schul where he finds the Rabbi.

“Rabbi, the most amazing thing has just happened,” the schlemiel says, breathlessly.

“The rye bread fell out of my hands, but it landed butter-side up,” the schlemiel explains. “Is this not a sign from G-d that I am no longer a schlemiel?”

The Rabbi scratches his chin, thinks a bit, and then responds, “You’re still a schlemiel! You buttered the wrong side of the rye bread!”