A Jewish parent calls his son long distance.
He says to his son, “I hate to tell you, but your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we are divorcing. That’s it!! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I am telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn’t go into shock later when I move out.”

The father hangs up, and David immediately calls his sister to tell her the news. The sister says, “I’ll handle this.” The sister calls and gets her father on the phone. She pleads to her father, “Don’t do ANYTHING ’til David and I get there! We will be there Friday.”

The father says, “All right, all right already.” He then hangs up the phone and smiles, then hollers to his wife, “Okay honey, they’re coming for the High Holidays!” 

L’Shana Tova!