A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

Harold, an elderly man, is resting peacefully on the porch of his small hotel outside Boca when he sees a cloud of dust up the road. He walks out to see who could be approaching: It is a farmer with a wagon. “Good afternoon,” says Harold.

A guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog. He names the dog Einstein and trains Einstein to do a couple of tricks. He can't wait to show Einstein…

A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. Since Jews do not eat leavened bread during the eight-day holiday, he was eating Matzo.

A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin.

A young boy was siting at the breakfast table, eating his cereal looking very nervous about his first day of school. His father noticed the worry on his face and asked, "What's wrong?" "Dad," he replied, "How long do I have to go to school for?"

There was a very busy flight from Delhi to New York City. There were 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto the flight.

A woman called the switchboard of a hospital and asked how Mrs. Schwartz in room 102 was doing. The switchboard operator put her on hold for a minute, then came back and reported: “Mrs. Schwartz in room 102 is doing very well! Why, just this morning her lab work came back and everything is normal. Her doctor is pleased and says she will be able to go home next week.”

Two men are waiting for a train. The younger man asks the older man for the time, but the older man ignores him. After a while, the younger man again asks for the time and again the older man ignores him.

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled.