One day, Benny the psychiatrist was on the subway coming home from work one day when he saw an elderly gentleman talking to himself and then laughing aloud. Every so often, the man would put up his hand, stop talking then start all over again. Benny had to find out more.

Two guys are walking through the woods one day when they stumble across a big deep hole. The first guy peers into it and says, “Wow! That looks deep.” The second guy says, “It sure does. Let’s throw a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is. We’ll be able to tell the depth by how long it is before we hear the noise of the pebbles landing.”

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

One day, a man walks into his office downtown and finds the walls are being painted. As he stops to look at the painting being done on his office, he notes that the handyman doing the painting is wearing two very heavy parkas on a hot summer day.

One day, a man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?” The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”

Izzy owned a small deli in Brooklyn. One day, a tax inspector knocked on his door and questioned him about his recent tax return. Izzy had reported a net profit of $300.000 for the year and he wanted to know all about it.