A man visits his veterinarian and says, “My dog has a problem.”
The Doctor replies, “so, tell me about the dog and his problem.”
The man says “It’s a Jewish dog. His name is Max and he can talk.
“He can talk?” the doubting Doctor asks.

“Watch this!” said the man, and then he commands “Max, Fetch!”

Max begins to walk towards the door, then he stops, turns around and says, “So why are you talking to me like that? You always order me around like I’m nothing. And then you make me sleep on the floor – with my arthritis! You give me this awful food with all the salt and fat and you tell me it’s a special diet. It tastes like dreck! And do you ever take me for a decent walk? No! It’s out of the house, a short pish, and right back home. Maybe if I could stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn’t kill me so much! I should roll over and play dead for real for all you care!”

The Doctor is amazed. “That’s remarkable! So what is the problem?
“He has a hearing problem! I said ‘Fetch’ not ‘Kvetch!'”